Spiritual Fatherhood

1 Corinthians 4:14-21

One of the sad marks of our individualistic society today is a growing irresponsibility. While we see it in several areas, it is tragically obvious in the area of parenting. There it manifests itself in parents who fail to take responsibility for raising their children and in men who father children and then walk away from them.

What is it within us that makes us so selfish and irresponsible? Has sin so infected our sensibilities that we can let innocent children suffer want so that we can be more comfortable and satisfied? Clearly, the answer is yes, it has.

It is no wonder, then, that when we come to Christ, we must unlearn a number of behavior patterns, and replace them with a proper understanding of how to live in selfless and responsible ways. This is especially true in the area of relationships.

In our text today, Paul gives us insight into what characterizes a spiritual father, or one who takes responsibility for young Christian’s spiritual growth. We see there several marks of spiritual fatherhood. These character traits should inspire us, both men and women, to rise to the challenge of becoming one who can nurture others in their walk with God.

Perhaps the greatest characteristic of parents is their love for their children. A parent without love is defective. If you were describing a machine, you would say, "It’s broken. It doesn’t work right!" Parents who do not love don’t work right inside. They need to be fixed. Normal parents love their children.

And it is out of that love for our children that we take responsibility for them–– for their care and feeding, for their welfare and safety, for their training and maturity. It is because of love that we care whether they do what is right and avoid what is wrong or hurtful.

One of the characteristics of being a spiritual father is that a spiritual father warns his children in love. Paul calls them his dear children. Like any good parent, as soon as he saw them he loved them. They were dear to him. He cared about their welfare. And that is why he took the time to warn them about the dangers that were all around them.

Often, our children get a little frustrated with us as parents for doing this. They see it as harping on little things. But what they fail to understand is the depth of our love that drives us to make sure they really hear and understand what can hurt them. We love them and do not want them to be hurt. That is why we tell them again and again to be careful and guard against the dangers of this world. If they knew how much we love them, (and one day when they have children of their own, they will) they would cut us more slack. We warn them out of love.

Listen to what Paul said in 1 Thessalonians 2:11-12, "For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory."

There is a story in the Old Testament (1 Samuel 2-4) of a high priest, Eli, who had two sons, Hophni and Phinehas. His sons were also priests, but they were wicked. Eli either did not want to know or turned a blind eye to their behavior. He did not warn them or restrain them, something he could have done as their father and as the high priest of God. As a result of his inaction, all their lives ended tragically. He is an example of how a spiritual father should not act. True love does not ignore sin, it confronts it with a desire to bring the sinner back to God.

We must never abdicate our responsibility, not only to our physical children, but also to our spiritual children. We have a responsibility to keep a vigilant watch over them and to warn them of the dangers that we know are there. We have the experience and knowledge. We have been tripped up a time or two ourselves. And if we know where the potholes in the road are, then we need to make others aware before they hit them.

Another characteristic of spiritual fatherhood is that spiritual fathers reproduce their life in the lives of others. Paul says, "I became your father through the gospel." The basic definition of a father is one who reproduces. As Christians, we’re called to produce other Christians, aren’t we? Now we don’t save them in the sense that we forgive their sins. We don’t have that power. But we can introduce them to One who does forgive their sins, and by that act of leading them to Christ they in turn become Christians and our spiritual children.

Those we bring into the world are those for whom we should also take responsibility in terms of their care and nourishment. We read of someone taking their child and putting it in a dumpster. That is against nature. What parent would do such a thing? No, when parents have children, they lovingly bring those children home to care for them, nourish them, and take responsibility for them so they don’t die. As Christians, we need to do that for those we bring to Christ. We need to take them under our wing and share our very life with them. We want to reproduce people who are like us spiritually. And to do so, we must share our lives with them. We must take responsibility for them.

Perhaps one of the reasons why many Christians do not share their lives with others is because they are not living their lives in a way that they would want anyone to share. If that is the case, then the problem needs to be clearly defined and dealt with. We need to live our lives the way Christ wants us to live. We need to shape up. We need to get serious about our walk with God and get our lives in order. This is not a game. It is not a casual pastime. What is at stake is the spiritual welfare of others who are depending on us. Just as our own natural children look to us to be their standard as they grow up, so our spiritual children need a standard. By God’s grace, you be that standard for them!

This brings us to another example or mark of spiritual fatherhood. A spiritual father sets an example. Paul says, "imitate me." What a powerful statement that is. What does it take to make that kind of a statement? Can you say that to other people? "Follow me. Follow my example. Imitate me. Do what I do."

A lot of people say, "Do what I say." Sometimes we say that to our children don’t we? "Do what I say, not what I do." Kids look at us as if to say, "Who do you think you’re kidding?" You see, they don’t just see what you say, they see what you do, and what you do speaks much louder than what you say. Don’t be surprised when they don’t follow what you say and begin to imitate what you do.

Don’t do it! Live you life as the example that you would want your children to follow in word and in deed. And if your life isn’t an example, then change it. Change it and make it an example.

Paul said that because he could not come, he was sending Timothy. Timothy had been a son to Paul in the faith. And by his following Paul as an example, he had learned to live like Paul lived. Paul followed the example of Christ and Timothy knew Paul’s lifestyle and teaching so well that he was able to go in Paul’s place to share with them how they ought to live. They could see Paul’s life in Timothy. Timothy had become like his spiritual father, Paul. And our kids will become like us.

I am amazed at how much of my father is in me. Of course, this is true biologically, at the genetic level. But is also true in many other ways as well. I resemble him in my personality and mannerisms. And my father died when I was only nineteen. I wonder how much more like him I would be had he lived longer and had I been able to spend more time with him. Even so, I see him in me. How we impact our children!

A true spiritual father takes time to teach. He imparts instruction to his children. But the power of that truth that he teaches is reflected in his own life as he lives it out consistently. We need to be consistent. How important that is. We must be consistent not only with what we say but also in what we do, because our way of living teaches other how to live.

Do an evaluation of your life. I’m shocked sometimes at my own inconsistency. I have to tell the truth. How about you? Are you ever shocked by your inconsistency? It should be an encouragement to get it together, because people who do not know Christ are looking at you. So don’t live like the devil.

How we behave in church ought to reflect how we behave when no one is looking. So if your language changes when you come to church, you need to change your language when you’re not in church. If the way you treat people changes when you come to church, you need to change the way you treat people when you’re not in church. If the way you treat your kids changes when you come to church, you need to change the way you treat your kids at home. If the way you treat your wife or husband changes when you come to church, then you need to change the way you treat your husband or wife when you’re at home. You never know when people at looking at you. What are you teaching them?

Just this past week, when I was out running some errands, I bumped into people who knew me. I even encountered one lady who drove past me in a parking lot who knew me when I did not recognize her! What if I were not acting like a Christian should? What kind of stumbling block would that have been? You never know who is looking. So you should live consistently. Live so that it doesn’t matter who is looking. Live so that your consistent life teaches other how to live. Remember, God is always looking!

A true spiritual father disciplines his children. In Corinth, some had become arrogant. They were talking big. They were boasting about who they were in God, about what they knew in Christ. They thought they had even surpassed the apostle Paul himself. But Paul says to them, in effect, "Listen, you guys sure know how to talk the talk, but I’m going to come and see whether you know how to walk the walk! It’s one thing to talk. It’s another thing to show me that you’ve got the power to live up to what you say you have and who you say you are."

Paul had the power. It wasn’t just talk. It was a life with him. These people were arrogant. They were boasting. And Paul said, "You can say all you want but when I get there I’m going to see whether you have the power to back it up."

There’s a danger in Christianity that we will just talk the talk. It doesn’t take long as a Christian for you to learn the jargon. It is easy to learn how to appear spiritual. And we can easily fool people. We can quote the Bible. We can say the right things. We can put on a great show because we learn how to do that. You want to fit in when you’re at church. You want to appear as if you’re following Jesus even though you might be living in some kind of sin. So you come to church and put on your church face.

Church should be the kind of place where people could come in their brokenness and in the reality of their situation and be honest about their struggles. If you’re trying to follow God, you’re going to live in confusion sometimes. You’re going to have problems. Who said it was going to be easy? They didn’t get it from the Bible. They got it from some pep rally somewhere, where some "faith" teacher told them that once you accept Jesus all your problems disappear. Some people can testify that when they committed their lives to God, the struggle began! But it’s a struggle that is worth it. Ultimate victory may not come until after this life is over. We have that victory. Nobody can take that away from us. The worst the devil can do to us is to kill us, and that only sends us to Heaven.

Don’t deceive yourself by pretending to be something you are not. And don’t fall into the trap of settling for less than God desires to give you. We need to encourage one another to be all that God wants us to be. We even need to admonish and challenge one another if necessary, just as Paul did to the Corinthians.

Discipline ultimately means accountability. The Corinthians needed to be accountable, not only to God, but also to Paul, their spiritual father in the faith. Sometimes we can convince ourselves that God approves of our behavior, when he does not. That is why we need spiritual fathers in the church. They hold us accountable. They speak correction into our lives. A spiritual father disciplines those he loves, just as our heavenly father disciplines those he loves. It is a mark of fatherhood.

You see, people see how we live. They see what is really important to us and they follow our example. Do you have the power to back up the talk that you talk? You do in Christ. If you’ll surrender to him and follow him, he will give you the power to live for him and be the kind of example that you need to be for those that you bring to Christ. Nobody expects you to be perfect, but they do expect you to be real. If you will be real about your struggles and transparent about the problems that you face as you seek to follow Christ with all your heart, that will inspire people. Let’s live in such a way today that we bring many spiritual children with us.

Copyright © 2002 J. David Hoke. This data file is the sole property of the copyright holder and may be copied only in its entirety for circulation freely without charge. All copies of this data file must contain the above copyright notice.

Except for the use mentioned above, this data file may not be copied (except for small quotations used with citation of source), edited, revised, copied for resale or incorporated in any commercial publications, recordings, broadcasts, performances, displays or other products offered for sale, or made available on the Internet without the written permission of the copyright holder. Requests for permission should be made in writing and e-mailed to J. David Hoke, at David@JDavidHoke.com.

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