When the First World War ended, the King and Queen of Belgium wanted to honor President Herbert Hoover for the aid they had received during the war from the United States. After considering the various available honors, the monarch offered Hoover his choice of three decorations. Hoover rejected them all stating, "You have stood at the gateway of civilization and held back the tide of aggression while we have only shared with you what we had to give. For that one does not ask for honors." The king and queen responded, "He is our very great friend." Desiring to adequately express their appreciation for his efforts, they created a new order to which Hoover alone belonged, "Friend of the Belgian people."
To be called "Friend" is an honor indeed, for true friendship is becoming an increasingly rare quality these days. A good friend is sometimes hard to find. We’ve all had those who called themselves our friends, but were not. They were there as along as things were going well, but when the going got tough, they got going. It is rare to find that one in whom we can trust, even in the hard times, and with whom we can share even our shortcomings.
Every so often it seems appropriate that we check on how we are doing in the friend department. How are we doing in terms of having friends? And how are we doing in terms of being friends?
It should be obvious that we all need a friend. When you analyze the human condition, you find that we are all very much alone. We come into this world alone, and we go out of this world alone. During the time we spend here, we can still be very much alone. People can be alone even in the most crowded city because loneliness has very little to do with whether people are around you. Loneliness has to do with the isolation we feel when we have no meaningful relationships with people.
Our generation has a real problem of loneliness. Considering the changes that are happening everywhere in society, and with the breakdown of community and the movement away from the extended family, we find that people experience loneliness as never before. And in light of this, it seems that we need friends as never before. We need those people who care about us and who love us. We need those people who are willing to become involved in our lives and to allow us to become involved in theirs.
God is aware of our need for companionship. In the Garden of Eden, He saw that it was not good for the man to be alone, so God gave the man a woman to be his companion and compliment. God has given us families because of our need for others. God has also given us friends. As a matter of fact, those in our family ought to be our best friends. But apart from those, He has given us relationships with other people. He has given us friends. Further, God gives us the fellowship of other Christians in the Church, Christ’s living community. We have other like-minded followers of Jesus Christ, with whom we can share our lives, and from whom we can draw strength. God has provided for our loneliness in several ways because He knew that all of us need a friend.
Not only do we need a friend, but we need a good friend. It might help us to look for the next few minutes at the whole idea of friendship and what it means to be a good friend. The Scripture has much to say about friendship.
In Proverbs 17:17, it says, "A friend loves at all times and a brother is born for adversity."
A good friend is someone who knows us and loves us anyway. This verse in Proverbs says that a friend loves. The love a friend has for us is not a superficial love. It is a love based on knowledge. This person knows us. They have had a chance to see our faults. They know us "warts and all," yet they love us. I suppose all of us have a fear that if people really knew us the way we are, they wouldn’t love us. But a good friend knows us and loves us anyway.
Another characteristic of a good friend is that this person is someone who supports us and stands by us. Our text said that a friend loves at all times. There are times when we need the love and support of a friend. Times when others forsake us. For a friend to be a good friend, this person must be willing to love you even when you are a little unlovable, even when times are rough. Another passage in Proverbs 18:24 says, "But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." A good friend stands by us when we need help and support. A good friend is around when you need him.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 reads, "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!"
Sometimes we all fall. Aren’t we thankful when we have a good friend there to help us up? I suppose a picture from the New Testament of a good friend can be found in the story of the Good Samaritan. I’m sure we’re all familiar with this. A man had fallen among thieves and been robbed and beaten. He was left beside the road to suffer. Along that road came several people. One was a priest, but he was too busy to stop and help. The other was a religious worker, but again, he had no time for the man. Finally, a Samaritan came by. Samaritans were considered half-breeds and they and the Jews did not get along. There was racial prejudice between them. Yet, this was the man who stopped when no one else would to help this Jew who had been beaten. He bound his wounds, he took him to an inn, put him up for the night, paid the bills, and told the innkeeper that if there was any more expense, he would take care of it. He acted as a real friend. We all need a friend like that. One man identified a friend as "The one who steps in when the whole world steps out." Someone else said, "A friend is one who never gets in the way, except when we are on the way down."
Next, I think we need to see that a friend is someone who brings out the best in us. In Proverbs 27:17, it says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
Henry Ford said, "My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me." This is the kind of thing to which this verse is referring. Through interaction with our friends, we are made better people. Iron sharpens iron. There is a real truth here concerning friendship. Through our relationships with others, we gain knowledge, we draw wisdom, we sharpen our skills, we increase our ability, we re-think our positions, we change and we grow. A good friend doesn’t seek to tear you down, he seeks to build you up. A good friend brings out the best in us.
And then I think we need to see that a good friend is one who cares for your spiritual well-being.
Let’s look at two men from the New Testament. The first is found in John chapter 5. He was the man who was diseased and lay by the pool of Bethesda. Jesus inquired of him whether he wanted to be made well. But the man replied that he had no one to put him into the pool. The man did not have a friend. The next man we find in Luke chapter 5. This was the paralyzed man who was being carried on a stretcher to Jesus for healing. But there was a great crowd blocking the entrances to the house in which Jesus was ministering. These friends of his were not deterred. They went up on the roof, tore a hole in the roof, and let the man down directly in front of Jesus. What a contrast these two stories are. In one case, there was a man in need with no friend, and in the other, there was a man in need who had friends who cared.
A good friend does care for your spiritual well-being. The Bible speaks of friends who will help spiritually and false friends who lead us away from God. May we be the kind of friend described in Job 16:20-21, where it says, "My intercessor is my friend as my eyes pour out tears to God; on behalf of a man he pleads with God as a man pleads for his friend."
Many of us are blessed with at least one good friend. Some of us are fortunate enough to have many. But all of us have a friend we may be overlooking. This friend is Jesus.
We have already looked at the passage in Proverbs which says that there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. This verse describes our Lord Jesus Christ. He is that Friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Have you ever considered Jesus to be your friend? Perhaps you have never thought of Him in that way. He is our Savior. He is our Lord. He is the eternal God who came to this earth and was made a man. He is the Son of God who offered Himself as a sacrifice on Calvary for our sins. He who knew no sin was made sin on our behalf that we might be made the righteousness of God in Him. He rose from the dead on the third day thereby proving Himself to be both the Son of God and God the Son. He ascended into heaven and took His place on the throne at the right hand of God the Father. He is our living, reigning Lord. But our friend?
Can this awesome Lord be our friend? The Scripture says that He not only can be, but that He is our friend. As a matter of fact, Jesus Himself tells us that He is our friend. In John 15:15 we read, "I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you."
Jesus called his disciples friends. He wants to relate to us as friends. A friend shares with his friend on a deeper level than do others. We may be polite to acquaintances, but we dare not be too intimate with them. But a real friend is different. With that person we can let our hair down and really share. We can share our joys and defeats. We can share our frustrations and failures as well as our successes and good fortune. Our communication is on more than a superficial level. So Jesus wants to know us and for us to know Him on a deep and intimate level. It is not good enough to know about Jesus, we must know Him. He wants to share Himself with us. He wants to be our friend.
Indeed, if there was ever someone who qualified to be a friend, it is Jesus. All of the characteristics of a good friend mentioned already, he possesses. He knows us and loves us. How much does He love us? Let me share His own words from John 15:13, "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."
Jesus loved us enough to give Himself as a sacrifice on the Cross for our sins. He literally laid His life down for us. And He said that you can have no greater love for anyone than this. Jesus just didn’t talk about His love; He proved it. Do you have a friend like that?
And, you know, He did this knowing all there was to know about each one of us. He knew what your sins would be. He knew what your problems would be. He knew about your failures and your frustrations. There is no situation or circumstance in your life that Jesus was not already aware of before He went to the Cross. But He went anyway, not because we deserved it but because we needed it. We needed forgiveness and so Jesus died to enable God to forgive us.
He knows us and loves us anyway. He is for us and stands by us. He cares about our spiritual welfare. He wants us to be free from sin and the penalty of sin. He wants to be our friend. That is why He laid down His life for us. What a friend!
Paul Simon wrote a song that speaks of this kind of sacrifice for another. Listen to these words from the song Bridge Over Troubled Water,
- "When you’re weary, feelin’ small
- When tears are in your eyes,
- I’ll dry them all.
- I’m on your side.
- Oh when times get rough,
- And friends just can’t be found,
- Like a bridge over troubled water
- I will lay me down.
- When you’re down and out,
- When you’re on the street,
- When evening falls so hard,
- I will comfort you.
- I’ll take your part.
- Oh, when darkness comes,
- And pain is all around,
- Like a bridge over troubled water,
- I will lay me down.
- Like a bridge over troubled water,
- I will lay me down."
This is what Jesus did for us, He laid Himself down by giving his life for us. He has already reached out to us to offer His love, forgiveness and friendship. The question posed to you is: Will you be His friend?
The Bible speaks of Abraham as being the friend of God. We too can be the friends of God. How? To find the answer, let’s look again at Jesus’ own words in John 15:14, "You are my friends if you do what I command."
For us to really enter into this friendship with God, we must first come to see several important things. Firstly, we must see our need for this friendship. Do you see that need for the Lord Jesus? I hope you do. The Bible teaches that we are all sinners and in need of a Savior. We cannot save ourselves by being good or doing good works. God shall not wink at sin. Sin will not go unpunished. Without Christ, the Bible teaches that we are condemned to an eternal Hell.
But we not only need to believe about Him, we need to believe in Him. Seeing our need and understanding intellectually about Jesus is not enough. We must trust Him with our lives. Remember, Jesus said, "You are my friends if you do what I command." Trusting Jesus means that you begin to follow Him. You can only do that by giving your life to Him in commitment and surrender.
Let me ask you the most important question I could ever put to you. Are you surrendered to Jesus? Have you truly given your life to Him? Are you living for yourself, your work, your lifestyle, your family, your material possessions, or any thing else, or are you living for Him?
The good news is that Jesus wants to be your friend. He wants you to receive Him and have a rich, deep relationship with Him which will last an eternity. If you already know Christ, get to know Him better. And if you do not know Christ, let me plead with you to come to Him today. Make Him your friend. He loves you and in Him you can experience eternal, abundant life. He has already proven to be your friend by laying down his life for you. He has made the first move. What will you do?
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