I have no greater joy than to hear that my
children
are walking in the truth. (3 John 4)
One of the most popular shows on television many years ago was the show that Art Linkletter hosted that featured children called "Kids Say the Darndest Things." The fact that it was so popular and that we still enjoy hearing the strange thing kids say is evidenced by the appearance of a new show patterned after the old one and hosted by Bill Cosby.
I have always thought that children can say the most unusual and funny things. And I like to hear a good story along these lines. All of you who are mothers, whom we honor this Mother’s Day, could probably give me quite a list of funny things your children have said and done.
Recently, I came across a few of those stories. A little girl named Amy sent a note to her pastor which read, "Dear Preacher, I heard you say to love our enemies. I am only six and do not have any yet. I hope to have some when I am seven. Your friend, Love, Amy."
The following happened in Sunday School. After the Sunday school teacher told the story of the Prodigal Son to the class, she asked, "Was anyone sorry when the Prodigal Son returned?" One boy answered, "The fatted calf."
Bringing home report cards have been the source of many a strange comment. A cartoon in the New Yorker showed a father scowling over a very bad report card while his little boy stood by, asking, "What do you think it is, Dad? Heredity or environment?" Here is another. The young boy brought home a report card heavy with poor grades. His mother asked, "What have you to say about this?" The boy replied, "One thing is for sure, you know I ain’t cheating!"
A little boy asked his mother where he came from, and also where she had come from as a baby. His mother gave him a tall tale about a beautiful white-feathered bird. The boy ran into the next room and asked his grandmother the same question and received a variation on the bird story. He then scampered outside to his playmate with the comment, "You know, there hasn’t been a normal birth in our family for three generations."
Here’s one about a little guy with a positive mental attitude. A little boy was overheard talking to himself as he strutted through the backyard, baseball cap in place, toting ball and bat. He was heard to say, "I’m the greatest hitter in the world." Then he tossed the ball into the air, swung at it and missed. "Strike one!" Undaunted he picked up the ball, threw it into the air and said to himself, "I’m the greatest baseball hitter ever," and he swung at the ball again. And again he missed. "Strike two!" He paused a moment to examine his bat and ball carefully. Then a third time he threw the ball into the air. "I’m the greatest hitter who ever lived," he said. He swung the bat hard again, missed a third time. He cried out, "Wow! Strike three! What a pitcher! I’m the greatest pitcher in the world!"
This is not something a child said, but it is about children. There was a sign in the church nursery with the following quote from 1 Corinthians 15:51: "We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed."
One thing is for sure, our children are changed and do change a lot over the years. We live in a world where change is the operative word. Some changes are for the better and some are for the worst, and if our children can navigate this changing world and come through intact we are grateful. Some children do not.
We have all seen rebellious children. We have seen children who choose a lifestyle of self-indulgence, willful disobedience, dangerous behavior, and obvious sin.
All of us are saddened by this sight, but none of us are saddened any more than the parents of these children. Far too many a mother or father has wept bitterly over a wayward son or daughter. Human words are not adequate to describe the depth of pain and sorrow that comes to a heart broken by love. Parents experience a depth of feeling for their children that even the children do not understand. Most parents are convinced that they care more for their children’s welfare and future than even the children care about themselves. And I suppose one of the hardest things parents face is the realization that although they have experienced life and gained wisdom from their own mistakes and failures, their own children are apt not to benefit from it because they are not yet convinced of its value. After they make the same mistakes, they will be convinced. But the mistakes will be made. And parents never like to see their children suffer needlessly.
On the other hand, when children turn out right, human words again fail to describe the height and thrill of the joy parents experience. Instead of tears of grief, tears of inexpressible joy are shed. When our children succeed in life, it brings to us a satisfaction which is especially sweet. Such are the burdens and the joys of parenthood.
The apostle John spoke of such a joy. In 3 John 4 he said, I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth. Here he speaks of his spiritual children. He was speaking as a pastor. This is the literal interpretation of the text. But, by implication, he is speaking as any Christian parent would feel. There is a great similarity between how a spiritual father feels for his spiritual children and how a natural Christian father or mother feels for their children.
The apostle John spoke of these people as his spiritual children. Here he is revealing a pastor’s heart. Perhaps he had some hand in bringing them to birth in Christ. But, whether he had or not, he felt a keen responsibility concerning their welfare. His desire was to see them follow the Lord fully.
Any pastor worth his ministry desires to see those under his care flourish in the things of God. Any pastor who does not care how people fair is neither worthy of the title nor worth hearing. All true pastors care about those allotted to their charge. God has given us His dear lambs to feed, nurture, protect, and develop. When one goes astray, we are troubled. When one discovers God in a fresh and living way, we are overjoyed. This is the kind of pastoral concern which is exhibited by the apostle John.
The apostle, like any minister, wanted to see his spiritual children make their lives count. What impact did his ministry have in their lives? Indeed, that is the question which every minister asks. Does our preaching and teaching, expounding of the Word of God, have any impact on the lives of those who hear it so preached every Lord’s Day? Are their lives being changed? Are they growing in the grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ? Are they bearing fruit? Are they having an impact on others? Sometimes it is hard to tell. But our heart’s desire is that it may be so.
You will notice that the apostle indicates that his joy is to hear that his spiritual children are walking in the truth. That he would hear of it indicates that people were talking about it. In other words, people were taking notice. These spiritual children were having an impact.
For a pastor, there can be no greater fulfillment and joy than to have people indicate that your ministry has made a difference. On occasion I will speak with people to whom I have ministered in the past. Occasionally they will tell me of how the Lord used something I said, or a sermon I preached, or a personal word I shared to encourage them or to give them the strength they needed to face a difficult situation. These are the kinds of things which make a minister feel that his labor has not been in vain. And when he hears of someone, into whose life he has poured himself, doing great things for God, he is overjoyed. This is what John had in mind when He wrote these words.
If these words apply to spiritual sons and daughters of a pastoral father, they also equally apply to the sons and daughters of Christian parents. I say Christian parents because not all parents are filled with joy at children who walk in the truth. Indeed, there are some parents who are so in tune with the things of this world that they have no use for anyone with his mind set on the things which are not of this world. Unless the parents are walking in the truth, they have no desire for their children to walk in the truth. It has been said that "No wolf prays for its offspring to become a sheep," and I’m sure that those who have no use for Christ also have little use for children who follow Christ. They may be happy if their children are healthy in body, but think nothing of the cancer of sin within them. They may feel a certain sense of pride if they can clothe their children in the latest designer fashions, but not be bothered that they are not clothed in the righteousness of Christ. To some it matters more that their children have their feet in $200 sneakers than whether they walk the broad or narrow road. There are many who are more concerned with grades in school than whether their children’s minds are renewed. But if our children lose the crown of eternal life, there will be no consolation even if they have won high honors in the Arts and Sciences. They may go on to business success, making money by the truckload, but they will not be able to spend one penny in hell. Yet there are parents who are more concerned with these earthly things than with the things that really count. Our children have more than a body — they have a soul.
To a Christian parent, however, there is great joy in our children walking in the truth. We know that whatever else our children accomplish in this life, if their souls are eternally secure then we will forever be together in eternity. This thought can only bring an immeasurable joy to our hearts.
Notice that the text emphasizes walking in the truth. This speaks of more than merely knowing the truth. To know the truth is very good. Indeed, this is where we must all start. But we must not stop there. We must move from knowing the truth to walking in the truth. To know the truth is good, but to walk in the truth is far better.
Of what truth is John speaking? Firstly, he is speaking of the truth of God as it pertains to salvation. Of course we want our children to be saved. Unless that truth is applied to their lives, all else will be in vain. But he is also speaking of the truth of God as it pertains to right living. To be found walking in the truth means that we live our lives in such a way that they are pleasing to the One who was called the Way, the Truth, and the Life. What Christian parent would not be overwhelmed by joy to see their children living this way? And to hear of them living this way is even better. Our children may act a certain way around us and a different way when we are not around. But, to hear that they are walking in the truth even when we are not around is a joyful thing indeed.
Finally, we may ask ourselves just how we can help our children to live this way? There are several practical things we can and must do if we are to help our children to live for Jesus.
The first thing we can do is to love Jesus ourselves. We will never be able, as parents, to inspire our children to love the Lord if we do not love Him passionately ourselves. By loving Jesus, we show our children what is really important in life. By our loving Jesus, they see in us the kind of character they should emulate. No Christian parent is ever called to any higher task than to love Jesus Christ. This is the first thing we can do.
The second thing we can do is to live before our children as a Christian should live. Now, Christians are certainly not perfect. Christian parents are not perfect either. We have our ups and downs, our good days and bad, our times of steadiness and stumbling. At times we lose it, and our children stare in disbelief at this wild creature shrieking around the house. But having said that, it should also be said that we must be a living example of how a Christian deals with life. Most of us have become like our parents, like it or not. Our children will probably become much like us. Only by the grace of God can we live before them in such a way that they see Jesus in us. This is the second thing we need to do.
The third thing we must do is share with them our faith. We must verbally share with them that Jesus can make a difference in their lives. We must share with them how they need to come to Christ as their own personal Savior. We must explain to them just how important it is to follow Christ. We must not be shy. We must not hold back. We would never hesitate to tell them the danger of drugs, and we must be even more determined to tell them the danger of sin. While we cannot decide for our children, we can share with them in such a way that they understand the truth of the gospel.
There are many other things we can do as well. These are just a few. We must not neglect these, however, for they are basic and fundamental. Let us commit and recommit ourselves to live before our children in such a way that, if they follow our example, we will experience joy.
Copyright © 1998 J. David Hoke. This data file is the sole property of the copyright holder and may be copied only in its entirety for circulation freely without charge. All copies of this data file must contain the above copyright notice.
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