Thinking Biblically About...

Loving Enemies

Matthew 5:38-47

 

October 17, 1993

by J. David Hoke

 

"You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.' But I say to you, do not resist him who is evil; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if anyone wants to sue you, and take your shirt, let him have your coat also. And whoever shall force you to go one mile, go with him two. Give to him who asks of you, and do not turn away from him who wants to borrow from you. You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor, and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you in order that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax-gatherers do the same? And if you greet your brothers only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same?" - (Matthew 5:38-47)

All of us want to be liked. Although there are probably a few malcontents who are antisocial, the vast majority of people make an honest attempt to get along with others and would like for others to think well of them.

On our jobs, around our neighborhoods, and at church we try to be likeable and friendly. We make an honest attempt to treat people in such a way that they have positive feelings toward us. Sometimes it works, and other times it doesn't.

Unfortunately, there are those times when people decide that they don't like us. Even though we have made an attempt to be kind to them, and are wonderful people ourselves, they, nonetheless, resolve to be hostile toward us. This can hurt. It can be very disappointing.

Who knows why people choose to become our enemy? And what do you do when they do? The tendency is to strike back. It has been called the plan and pounce strategy -- the "don't get even, get ahead" method. But does this way of retaliating at people for their behavior really produce the desired results. Often it produces further animosity and bad feelings. It makes the hostile person more hostile, and leaves us feeling worse instead of better.

Jesus said that there was a better way. As a matter of face, He gave us a radical solution to this ancient problem. Instead of retaliating against your enemy, you should love him by doing good to him!

"LOVE HIM! You've got to be kidding!" you may be saying about now. "How can we be expected to love those who are treating us harshly and unfairly?" "Surely, no one could do that, or would want to." "Even Christians have their limits, don't they?"

There is no doubt that Christians do have limits. But when it comes to love, the limits far exceed what we may think. The confusion comes when we adopt the thinking of the world.

The Secular Mentality

The world philosophy of how you handle your enemy is quite different from the Christian view. The sad plight of the secular mentality is revealed in statements like "an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth." In other words, we want, we demand justice. And there is certainly nothing wrong with justice.

The reason we demand justice, however, is because we have come to believe that we have certain rights as human beings. Indeed, in the Declaration of Independence of our country, we declare that certain rights are unalienable and are given to us by no one less that our Creator. This, our founding fathers said, was a truth which was self-evident.

Rights has become, however, a byword of our generation. We speak of human-rights, women's-rights, children's-rights, worker's-rights, gay-rights, criminal's-rights, victim's-rights, and on and on. People believe that they have rights and are, in many cases, not only pleading for them but also demanding them. We think that justice will give us these rights, and therefore we demand justice -- an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.

There is only one problem with this philosophy -- everyone would soon be blind and toothless. I recall hearing an old Amos and Andy radio show routine where Andy was particularly exasperated over a certain fellow on the street who, as Andy walked by him on his way to work each morning, would slap Andy on the chest and say hello. Andy complained to Amos about the situation and told him that he had resolved to do something about it. He said that on the next morning he would strap some dynamite to his chest and when the annoying fellow slapped it, he would blow his hand off.

You see, the problem with some of our solutions is that they hurt us as much as they hurt others. The secular mentality of the world is "an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth." The world will tell you to retaliate, to get even. The thinking of modern man is to do unto others before they do it unto you. It is to do good to those people who do good to you or from whom you can get something and keep your eye on everyone else. But this is not the thinking of Jesus. It is not the way of Christianity.

Listen to Jesus' words if you can hear them. He said, "You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.' But I say to you, do not resist him who is evil; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if anyone wants to sue you, and take your shirt, let him have your coat also. And whoever shall force you to go one mile, go with him two. Give to him who asks of you, and do not turn away from him who wants to borrow from you. You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor, and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you in order that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax-gatherers do the same? And if you greet your brothers only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same?"

He talks about turning the other cheek when someone slaps one. He talks about giving more than the minimum to those who would take something by force. He talks about going the second mile. He talks about praying for those who persecute you and loving your enemies. This is radical talk indeed, and there is something within us that doesn't like talk like this. It makes us feel helpless and very uncomfortable. After all, who is going to take care of us if we live like this. People will just walk all over us. Surely there has to be some explanation that would comfort us with the conclusion that Jesus really didn't mean this in a literal sense.

The Second Mile

What is Jesus getting at? Is He just making us defenseless pawns in the hands of others? I don't believe so. In fact, I believe that He is giving us a key to unlock the door leading to freedom from the anxiety which inevitably overcomes those who demand their rights. It is the secret power of the second mile.

Jesus obviously knew what He was doing when He gave us the command to love our enemies, and to do good to those who do evil to us. He knew that there was a positive power to this kind of response. Retaliation only feeds the negative emotions of hostility and makes things worse. The conflict escalates and everyone is hurt. The only real question is who is going to be hurt the most. Each party to the conflict is betting that the other party will be hurt most. But it does not always turn out that way.

Our choice is between escalation of the conflict or elimination of it. Retaliation is a dead end. The sooner we realize this the easier it will be for us to begin down the road Jesus asks us to walk. Then we will begin to see and experience the secret power of the second mile. Then we will learn the lessons that going the second mile will teach us.

Lesson One: Going the second mile will break the hostility cycle. By responding in a loving and calm way to hostility we can lower the temperature a few degrees. In Proverbs 15:1 we are told that "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." As we respond by turning the other cheek, giving more than is required -- our coat as well as our shirt, and going the extra mile, we deal an unexpected blow to the hostility cycle that is expected.

This principle really works in a variety of situations we all face regularly. It works when someone cuts you off in traffic. It works when you are in a line and someone cuts in front of you. It works when you are interrupted. It works when someone gives you a harsh word. You see, if you lash out in anger when you are in any of these situations you only escalate the conflict. If you respond by being kind and generous, which is the unexpected response, then you catch your antagonist off guard and they, not knowing quite how to respond, calm down a bit.

This works in a marriage relationship. When you see the tensions beginning to rise because someone is irritable, you have a strategic decision to make. You can become irritable yourself. We have all done this and know where this leads. Or you can respond in kindness and gentleness. Which works better? Kindness and gentleness. And when the conflict has already started and you have impulsively shot your mouth off and said the wrong thing, if you will immediately stop and admit you are wrong, you can get a handle on the situation. It is hard to do that. There is something within us that hates to admit we are wrong, even when everyone, including us, knows we are. But if we will be big enough to make the first move, we will experience the secret, positive power of the second mile.

This works in the workplace when unreasonable bosses are flexing their irritating muscle. It works in the school situation when demanding and implacable teachers, who think their class is the only one that counts, give you unreasonable assignments. You can become bitter or better by how you respond. So, lesson one is that going the second mile will break the hostility cycle.

Lesson Two: Going the second mile will touch others with the true gospel of Christ. What is the real mark of a Christian? Is it a lapel pin that says "Jesus First"? Is it a bumper sticker that says "Honk if you love Jesus"? Is it a glib "Praise the Lord" when anything goes wrong? No, it is none of these things. The real mark of a Christian is love.

Jesus said that the world would know we were Christians by our love. In John 13:34-35 we read, "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."

The real mark of true Christianity is unselfish love and a laying down of our lives for others. This is what Jesus did. And to lay down one's life is to lay down one's rights. When Jesus hung on the Cross, He was not there simply because Rome had capitulated to the unruly Jewish mob. This was not something outside of Jesus control. It has been rightly said that He could have called 10,000 angels to His aid. After all, He was the Lord of the universe.

If anyone had a right to rights, it was Jesus. But He chose to lay down His divine rights. In fact, He chose to do that when He left heaven to be born a man. When it says in Philippians that He "emptied" Himself to become a man, it means that He divested Himself of His divine prerogatives. He reaffirmed this laying aside of rights to Himself in the Garden of Gethsemane when He said to the Father, "Thy will be done." This is how Jesus loved us and how we are to love one another.

When the soldier at the foot of the Cross began to see who Jesus was, He undoubtedly understood the magnitude of the sacrifice when he said, "Truly this was the Son of God!" This is the kind of love that lays down rights for the sake of others. It is this kind of love that causes missionaries to reach out to the very tribes that killed their co-workers and friends. It is a powerful acknowledgement of a love that is not of this world. It will bring people into contact with the true gospel.

Lesson Three: Going the second mile will fire our walk with God. It will free your heart from the burdensome baggage and bondage of bitterness and anger, even hatred. And when your heart is free, then no one can touch you.

It will fuel your fire and raise your spiritual temperature, not your carnal temperature. It will give you a hot hearted love toward Jesus, not make you hot at others.

The reason why we do not experience this kind of fire is that we either do not go the extra mile, or we go the extra mile expecting to get some earthly reward for doing it. If we are to do the extra mile, we must do it for its own sake, because Jesus would have done it.

This kind of love is generous, unexpected. It is the God kind of love that makes others want to love like that. It was the day after Christmas and Mr. Greene parked his car to pick up the morning paper. He noticed a dirty, poorly dressed boy, looking at his car. Seeing the boy eyeing the car, he reminded himself to be quick or he might be missing a hubcap when he returned. He came out of the store with his paper under his arm and just as he opened the door to the car, the boy asked, "Mister, how much would a new car like this cost?" Mr. Greene responded, "I really don't know; my brother gave me this car as a gift." The ragged little boy looked unbelievingly at the car and, with a look of wonder in his eyes, said something unexpected. He didn't say what you might think, "Gee, I wish I had a brother like that." He said, "Gee, I wish I could be a brother like that."

We live in an age where books are written like Think and Grow Rich. If Jesus were to write a contemporary book, do you think it would have a title like that? His book might be titled Love Others and Give Yourself Away. This is the mark of Christianity.

But how do you keep giving without either giving out or giving up? The key to giving without giving up is to take time to keep your batteries charged. There are times when you become drained. You find yourself spent spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Be careful during those times to take time to refuel. If you do not, you will self-destruct.

Jesus also took time to get away from the press of the demands of people and renew His strength. We read of Him rising early to pray. Other times He would take the disciples apart from the crowd for a time of rest and relaxation. If Jesus needed it, so do we. Only then can we give without giving out and giving up.

To think Biblically about loving our enemies, we have to reject the secular mentality of retaliation and adopt the mentality of Christ, the mentality of the second mile. The power of the second mile is the power of God to transform lives -- ours and others.


Copyright © 1997 J. David Hoke. This data file is the sole property of the copyright holder and may be copied only in its entirety for circulation freely without charge. All copies of this data file must contain the above copyright notice.

This data file may not be copied in part (except for small quotations used with citation of source), edited, revised, copied for resale or incorporated in any commercial publications, recordings, broadcasts, performances, displays or other products offered for sale, without the written permission of the copyright holder. Requests for permission should be made in writing and e-mailed to J. David Hoke, at David@JDavidHoke.com.


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